Crash Gordon and the snow job of the century

So the Prime Miniature came out of it pretty well, didn’t he? Even hardened cynics like Guido are saying this morning that….

Gordon came over surprisingly well with Piers.

Of course this should come as no surprise to anyone. If politicians can’t look good in the tightly controlled environment of a party political broadcast (for that is what this was, and a buckshee 60 minute one to boot), there really isn’t much hope for them.

This was Through the Looking Glass television at its very finest. Take, for example, the opening sequence to this hour-long hagiography….

When Crash Gordon says….

Well, Piers is a bit tough, isn’t he? He does ask pretty direct questions. He’ll throw it at you and then you’ve got to respond.

What he really means is….

My mate Piers is a real pussycat. I’m only doing this interview with him because I know he won’t touch on any inconvenient topics, like how I managed to drag the country deeper into the red than any other OECD member in the middle of a boom, or how it’s OK for a non-domiciled billionaire pension thief to fund my party leadership campaign, but not for Lord Ashcroft to donate to the Tories, or why I failed to fulfill my party’s manifesto commitment to a referendum on the European Constitution.

This is going to be a breeze, suckers!

And when the unctious Piers the Hoax oozes….

If he thinks I’m going to come bearing sweeties then he’s in for a bit of a surprise.

What he really means is….

If I give him an easy ride here, the peerage is in the bag.

It’s not all doom and gloom though. A Very British dude brings us the glad tidings that….

In the first advertising break there were no adverts. So few companies wanted to be associated with Brown’s life that they could not sell the space in a much trailed program on a Sunday evening on Valentine’s day.

Which at least gives us the small comfort of knowing that ITV won’t be pulling a cheap political circus act like this again any time soon.

Finally, I’m sure we’d all like to know, as no doubt would a large number of berserker Muslim clerics, which Middle Eastern government it was that gave him the whole roasted pig.