In the He’s Spartacus inbox this morning was an email from my good friend, Gort. He is, as you will deduce from the following text, in the software development business….
In my capacity as a frivolous adornment to the service economy I spent all day last Tuesday adding a beautiful but completely unnecessary animation to some text on an app. I finished last week. The animation conveys no new information, doesn’t make the text any more eye catching (the text is of little use anyway) but is cool and awesome and as such it was a day well spent.
I showed the new “feature” to Selena, who is head of sales and as such the person for whom the app. is ultimately written. Naturally she bleated about it being a complete waste of time but I can guarantee when she demos its functionality to clients they will drop trou and assume pos in double quick time.
If my 20 years in software has taught me anything it’s that apps can do what they are supposed to do brilliantly but put it in a room full of marketeers (our target market) and it will be the cool, awesome but ultimately pointless stuff which clinches the deal.
“Yeah, yeah, 1 billion rows per second is all very well but just what else does this bring to the tab….. OH. MY. GOD! Is that little counter exploding every 10th number? Giles, we must kill to get this application!”
The spirit of Douglas Adams’ telephone sanitiser is alive and well, and residing in marketing departments across the globe.